Within the last couple of months, I have had a similar conversation on multiple occasions. When I mention I am an interior designer, the listener describes the process of merging households. It goes something like “Wow, we could use a designer to help us….” What follows is a description of merging two different design styles, or two very established lives that are now sharing one household.
This type of situation is a terrific opportunity to work with a designer. Negotiating a shared space can be challenging at any age, but it gets more difficult with age. We all tend to grow more fondness for our own habits and preferences over time – our objects and their relationship to our space become integrated with our identity.
It’s unlikely (if not impossible) we are going to find someone just like ourselves with whom we would like to cohabit a space. So it’s important to appreciate when folks are negotiating their shared space, that no matter how much the discussion may be about objects – the real subject is individual identity.
An interior designer can be a source of insight and compassion for individuals experiencing the challenge of merging households. Possessing a background in human development and counseling as well as interior design, I know it’s not enough just to weigh aesthetics. Creating a shared story is not a process of eliminating the unsightly. Rather, the focus should be on curating elements that best tell a story of each person. From there – knowing the story did not end there – arrange elements to make room for more telling of a life together.
Sara L. Hinkel, M.S.Ed. 